Exactly 10 years ago, your friends did a small silly birthday prank of you and celebrated your 13th birthday. You were so small back then, so did I, when I first watched that video on YouTube. Exactly 10 years after, you celebrated your 23rd birthday, with the same group of friends, on the big stage, where everyone shine their lights upon you. From being celebrated in a small room, training for the dream you wished to have, to celebrating your birthday on the stage, where you fulfilled your dream with your best mates. For that, sincerely, I am super proud of you. On top of all that, despite growing and becoming an adult now, you and your bestfriends still have the same huge sweet smile and lovely enjoyable personalities. Despite 10 years have passed by where you went through different stages of life, you are still the same, still you, enjoying the best of your youth days.
Perhaps it is the small age gap that exist between us, that makes it easier for me to resonate and relate towards you. I used to be scared of growing up, haunted by the thousands of what-ifs that is slowly eating me alive. The voices of the people around me constantly telling me about the age I am turning, the responsibility that I am currently carrying, and how the world will slowly become a place where I wished I never live in. I used to shut myself down in my room, not wanting to go out and explore, eaten alive by the thoughts that I will end up to be nothing despite knowing I could have anything and I am constantly told that I am great at almost everything. As time passed by, with you, everything seems to go smoothly.
Although, it would be a pure lie when I say I am no longer afraid or I no longer carry this heavy thoughts with me, but watching you growing up and entering the adult phase, bravely, despite having to face difficulties, is the reason why I am brave enough to embrace failures and accept that I can always learn from the mistakes that I make, I can still shape me, despite having to fall a hundred times, because you remind me, changes might be something that is bitter to swallow, but in order to heal from a sickness and eat sweet treats, we must drink the pills away too. You, who are now 23, but still embracing your inner child and wonder as if you are still 13, because in the end, you are the one experiencing life and not others. You, who still feel clueless about what it’s like to be an adult yet still try your very best to learn on how to become one, without having to sacrifice the youthful soul you have. You, who is the main inspiration for me, on how to embrace youth while learning about adulting.
After 10 years, I realized I still hang onto you, not only because of your talent and how hardworking you are as a person. I realized that I look up to you, because we were child, growing up together in the span of 10 years. You were my childhood, my teenage years, now my youth and I am pretty sure, you will be the essence of my adulthood, too. Thank you for showing me how to be alright with still being clueless despite having these responsibilities being thrown to me suddenly, just because of the age that I am turning. Thank you for letting me hold onto a piece of my childhood, becoming the central of my youth. Thank you for never stop being you, because through everything, I see me in you.
10 years ago, you were the shortest among your peers. 10 years later, you are the tallest among them all. 160cm or 180cm, you still own that small childlike pure heart, who has love so big that you leave sprinkles of love that touches everyone’s heart everywhere you go. You got love in you as tall as you are, as big as the universe you love. May your love grow as big as you are, always.
Happy birthday, Park Jisung.
I love you when you were 13, I love you just the same when you turned 23, hopefully I will love you, still, continuously for the upcoming 23 years ahead.
for Park Jisung,
written by C, 050222025.
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